rocketralph | Level 18 [Video / Action for Goldenrod.] AROMATHERAPY FRIDAY

[ACCIDENTAL VIDEO]

_{[Ralph is furiously tapping away at his 'gear and has accidentally turned the camera on. Enjoy a worm's eye view of the guy's chin and thumbs and little else. He's outside, seated on a bench somewhere in Goldenrod's shopping district and ranting to someone.]}

And you know what really crosses my wires? They had the nerve to keep on pretending! I don't know about you, Wrath, but I'm sick and tired of this whole Johto-wide charade of everyone pretending like they aren't from a video game! I can't be the only one that remembers! I can't be the only one who didn't get his code scrambled!

I think they're all kiddin' themselves! So what if there's no quarter alert? So what if we can't see the screen and nobody knows where the tram is! That doesn't mean we should all pretend to be real!

[ACTION FOR SOME BAR IN GOLDENROD]

_{[After a long, exhausting day of arguing, it's easy to find the big guy with some empty glasses at his elbow tucked away in whatever dimly lit corner he could find. He has a Lot to think about.]}

Threaded | Top-Level Comments Only

So does the player play you or the Felix guy? Wait, no, I guess the game was named after him. Damn, though, I'd totally pony up more cash to wreck shit, that sounds way more fun.

Edited 2016-02-02 21:34 (UTC)

It's the program.

_{[Ralph takes a long moment to respond, still staring into the bottom of his glass. When he glances over he has to double-take at all the charred bits on his drinking buddy. Yikes.]}

Looks like I'm not the only one...

_{[Ralph huffs and taps away at his 'gear when he suddenly gets an influx of texts. Rats! He didn't realize the camera was on.]}

What'dya mean yet? We aren't real and we never will be.

_{[This is familiar territory to Wrath. It was more or less what Lust had told him right before killing him-- that their Master would NEVER keep her promise to make them human, that they could never truly be 'real' in the way they wanted (not that Lust hadn't gained new insight HERE, of course, but that was an entirely different issue and he still didn't totally believe her).]

[But regardless of if the Stone would have been able to turn them human, Wrath had his OWN plan!]

[So he puffs up, not necessarily indignantly, but with the air of someone about to drop some sick truth bombs on an UNBELIEVER.]}

Well you might never be real, maybe!

But I sure was gonna!

I already got two real pieces.

_{[He proudly gestures to his off-color arm and leg.]}

I just need to get the other pieces and then I'll be all set.

_{[It's Ralph's turn to be taken aback. Nobody has ever said anything like that about him. He's the Bad Guy! And he isn't even in a fighting game!]}

Well thanks, kid. It's not that I haven't ever thought about what it'd be like to be a playable character...but yeah, it's him. I'm the Bad Guy. It's kinda my job to lose.

_{[Okay that gets his attention. Ralph slowly lowers his 'gear and looks at Wrath as he shows off his trophies.]}

You wanna run that by me again? Wha'dya mean got two real pieces?

... WELL!

_{[it's story time c8]}

I used to live in The Gate, and it was terrible and dark. But one day, an idiot stopped by! The idiot wanted to bring a dead person back to life, but that's illegal. So the Gate took away his arm and leg as punishment! There was so much blood. Blood everywhere! Humans shoot blood when you take their limbs away, it turns out!

And all of us inside, we wanted that arm and leg so bad, but I was the best and the fastest so I got them!

_{[He raises his arms, looking up to the ceiling as though he can see the sun straight through it. There is a weird, almost demented smile stretching across his face.]}

And then, because they were real, they let me escape the Gate! I pulled the doors open! And there was light and air! I could touch things, and make noises!

But I was still damned, an inhuman, soulless abomination. Except for my arm and leg.

Once I can take the rest of that idiot's body, then I'll be real.

_{[He trails off briefly, his tiny narrow chest puffing in and out. Then he looks to Ralph, still grinning. There's a tragic note of innocent hope somewhere in it, BUT MOSTLY IT JUST LOOKS FRIGHTENING.]}

I'll be a real boy.

Mareep are terrible. One of them stole my afternoon snack.

[Yeeep. Just getting a drink for himself now.]

[That's MISTER The Goomba, thank you.]

"It's not me, it's you?" Real freakin' clever.

Just cause this place is weird and all RPG-like doesn't actually make it a game, you know. It just makes it WEIRD.

[Video games aren't really his forte, but he can recognize the obvious tropes when he sees them.]

Wow. Man, if only all bad guys felt such loyalty to their mission.

It's what we're programmed to do.

Not all of 'em. My best Pokemon started out as a Mareep.

...

...Do...

...all bad guys feel that way? About losing? I mean, if you know other ones, I guess I don't really know how that works.

Sheep and I don't get along.

_{[As Wrath raves on about his plan, the color drains from Ralph's face little by little. Oh jeez. OH JEEZ. He suddenly misses the Wrath that asked him irritating questions and ate food off the floor.]

[Ralph carefully raises his hands as one would when calming some kind of big animal even though it's just him and the kid on the bench.]}

WOAH. Woah, woah, woah. K-kid! You gotta be kiddin' me! You can't do that, you'd be going Turbo.

You think I don't know a game when I see one? I'm from a game!

_{[Ralph hikes up a brow. Now that is a really specific hang-up. And sadly, since he can't keep his mouth shut today, he has to ask.]}

Why's that?

Well, I can't speak for everyone.

_{[He scratches at his neck and averts his eyes.]}

There's this...group thing. That meets once in a while. Bowser's there...

...

That's so cool...

Because my brother was a shepherd at the beginning of things and God preferred his sacrifice of blood and meat over mine of vegetables so sheep remind me of how everything went to hell.

[Aaaaaand he thunks his head against the bar because no. He didn't want to get into that.]

It's not cool! It's awkward! And depressing! And the chairs are too darn small!

_{[...]

[....wow he must be from one of those educational games.]}

That's rough, buddy.

_{[As an afterthought he reaches out to pat the lesser brother on the back.]}

No, I meant--well, okay, too small chairs suck, you'd think they'd get on that if they're getting regulars like Bowser, Jesus. But I meant more like...you get to hang with all these other famous dudes who have some of the same problems you do, right? That's pretty cool.

[Yes and no, Ralph. He squints up at him before pulling his head up.]

This day is stupid.

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Level 18 [Video / Action for Goldenrod.] AROMATHERAPY FRIDAY

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