rocketralph | Level 9 [video]

_{[For once it's not Ralph holding the camera. The angle is low and a single blunt claw can be seen slightly obscuring the view. Bossy the Sandshrew has snuck the 'gear out of her trainer's bag for no other reason than to be a little pest and embarrass her failure of a partner as much as she can.]

[A few feet away, Ralph can be seen hunkering over one of the tiny tables outside one of the cafes in Violet. He's got a bowl of hot soup in front of him and is trying his very best to use the pair of chopsticks he's been given to get the noodles from the bowl into his face.]

[It's going about as well as can be expected.]}

Easy does it...eeeeasy does it...d'oh!

_{[The noodle plops back down into the soup and splashes him. He tries again. And again. A dark snicker comes from the camera-mon. On about his sixth try, Ralph finally fumbles the tiny chopsticks and sends one spinning across the cafe patio. There just aren't enough things in Johto designed for Ralphs. He sits and stares furiously at his single chopstick until he catches onto the hushed shrewshrewshrew snickering coming from the next table over.]}

Bossy! Are you--GET BACK HERE, YOU LITTLE RAT.

_{[Cue Blair Witch shaky-cam and eventual filmcut.]}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Don't be such a jerk, Bossy.

_{[The yellow rat comes on screen with a sarcastic sneer on her scaly little snout. Oh, it was That Lady. Pffff, like she cared.]}

Sandshrew-shrew.

_{[Whatever she said it probably wasn't very nice. She's perched up on a light post and Ralph's angry eyebrows can be seen over her shoulder.]}

Don't think I won't break this pole down!

[...Hang on a sec, she's going to go get Nate to translate. Because apparently understanding Nate is A-OK but understanding Bossy is not.

Either that or she just thinks she can understand Nate.

Or maybe—

You know what, it's Parker, we don't think too hard about it.]

Hey! You! Yeah, you! Get back down there before he decks you.

Alice! Is that you in there?

_{[Ralph leaps and swipes for the 'gear and Bossy holds it daintily out of reach.]}

I'll get back to you soon as I can!

_{[Bossy mimics Ralph as best as she can, lowering her own voice and SHRE W SHREW SHREWING at the 'gear. She even furrows her brow to make Ralph's gorilla face.]}

Ahm gunna wreck eet huuurrrr. Like he can jump higher than two feet.

[She flashes a look at Nate, who evidently doesn't answer — but he does fix the Gear with a wide and toothy grin that is not at all a Nice Grin; rather, it's the kind that tends to remind one that large wolflike animals like him generally eat small shrewlike animals like her.]

Yeah, it's me! Back off, you bad shrew!

_{[Bossy rolls her horrible little black eyes. She's not scared of you, Nate! You're like. A billion miles away! Why she bets she could--]

[Ralph grabs the light pole and starts shaking it furiously. The Sandshrew lets out a cry and tumbles from her perch, dropping the 'gear in the process. There is a lot of scrambling and creaking of plastic before Ralph's face takes over the screen. He's got his 'gear in one hand and a grouchy yellow critter by the tail in the other.]}

Sorry 'bout that, Alice. Long time no see! How are-- IF YOU POISON STING ME ONE MORE TIME, I AM DUCT TAPING YOU INTO A BALL AND BURYING YOU IN THE WOODS, LITTLE MISSY.

_{[The Sandshrew draws her horrible little claws back into her paws and dangles in defeat.]}

Aaaaanyway.

Punch her in the face, Ralph!

[Because that always works, seriously.]

_{[Ralph sighs.]}

Then she wouldn't have a face anymore and I'd be down a Pokemon. I didn't think so much trouble could come in such a tiny package.

Maybe just tap her in the face, then.

[Pthbbbbbbbbt, Pokemon.]

_{[Ralph lifts Bossy up so that she can look at Parker upside down. She hisses at the screen. Ralph gives her a little shake.]}

The ideas this nice lady's giving me are awful tempting, Bossy Breeches. Why won't you behave? Just for a little while?

Or get a Water-type or a Grass-type. She's weak to both of those.

Next time I see you I'll get Hitter to punch her in the face for you.

There's an idea. I really gotta start doing the whole catching pokemon thing.

You still haven't even started on that?

Nooooot exactly. I caught one of those electric sheep though! To beat the gym here in Violet with. But most of my pokemon were given to me. Or adopted.

That's good! But you kinda need to get on that soon...you know, because of the thing. Our job. Where you need a lot of them.

Yeeeeah, that too.

_{[The hell have you been DOING over there in Violet all this time?]}

As much as I'm not a fan of it, I'd rather not be fired from this job too.

I mean, I can cover for you for a little while but pretty soon someone will notice.

I don't want you to have t'do that any more than necessary. There just aren't a whole lot of rare pokemon in the wild around here.

_{[Ralph's still kind of unsure about this whole stealing thing. Bossy sure as hell isn't and tugs on his shirt, nodding furiously. They need to get to work!]}

Shrew!

Hey, you shut up, Bossy.

[ >:( ]

I mean, it's been pretty quiet lately so I think it's okay, but it takes a while to get a team trained and stuff, so.

_{[Bossy turns her head back up toward the camera to give Parker her best stink-face.]}

I'll hop on the ball, promise. You shouldn't have to cover my tail as often as you do.

It's okay. It's what I do.

I owe ya.

Yeah, probably.

Level 9 [video]

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