rocketralph | Level 18 [Video / Action for Goldenrod.] AROMATHERAPY FRIDAY

[ACCIDENTAL VIDEO]

_{[Ralph is furiously tapping away at his 'gear and has accidentally turned the camera on. Enjoy a worm's eye view of the guy's chin and thumbs and little else. He's outside, seated on a bench somewhere in Goldenrod's shopping district and ranting to someone.]}

And you know what really crosses my wires? They had the nerve to keep on pretending! I don't know about you, Wrath, but I'm sick and tired of this whole Johto-wide charade of everyone pretending like they aren't from a video game! I can't be the only one that remembers! I can't be the only one who didn't get his code scrambled!

I think they're all kiddin' themselves! So what if there's no quarter alert? So what if we can't see the screen and nobody knows where the tram is! That doesn't mean we should all pretend to be real!

[ACTION FOR SOME BAR IN GOLDENROD]

_{[After a long, exhausting day of arguing, it's easy to find the big guy with some empty glasses at his elbow tucked away in whatever dimly lit corner he could find. He has a Lot to think about.]}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[That really takes Dave aback.]

Uh. Well, I mean. Yeah, sure? I just. Wouldn't call myself a hero or anything.

So maybe you weren't the guy doing all the jumping around and getting power-ups. What'd you do?

...I did jump around a lot and snag power-ups, for a while.

[He really doesn't want to talk about SBURB, Jesus Christ.]

It was a co-op game, so I guess you could say...I did a lot of behind-the-scenes stuff to make sure everyone else could bring their A-game. Exploited mechanics, rustled up Easter eggs, things like that.

That sounds pretty important to me.

Man. It feels good to talk to somebody who knows what's going on again.

Yeah, tell me about it. You wouldn't believe the looks I get for bringing up monster drops or sidequests or even, like, totally ubiquitous shit like sylladices. Everyone had a sylladex where I'm from, how else are people supposed to carry stuff in stupid and unnecessarily complex ways?

Now I don't know what all of those things are, but I get you. Nobody here knew what a quarter alert was...but if some of 'em are from those uh...LMNO games like you are, maybe they don't need quarters.

Yeah, we didn't have that, but I can sort of suss out the significance from context. It's when someone puts a quarter in the machine so you all gotta get ready to rumble, right?

Yup! Everybody gets in place. I start wrecking the building and Felix starts fixing it.

So does the player play you or the Felix guy? Wait, no, I guess the game was named after him. Damn, though, I'd totally pony up more cash to wreck shit, that sounds way more fun.

Edited 2016-02-02 21:34 (UTC)

_{[It's Ralph's turn to be taken aback. Nobody has ever said anything like that about him. He's the Bad Guy! And he isn't even in a fighting game!]}

Well thanks, kid. It's not that I haven't ever thought about what it'd be like to be a playable character...but yeah, it's him. I'm the Bad Guy. It's kinda my job to lose.

Wow. Man, if only all bad guys felt such loyalty to their mission.

It's what we're programmed to do.

...

...Do...

...all bad guys feel that way? About losing? I mean, if you know other ones, I guess I don't really know how that works.

Well, I can't speak for everyone.

_{[He scratches at his neck and averts his eyes.]}

There's this...group thing. That meets once in a while. Bowser's there...

...

That's so cool...

It's not cool! It's awkward! And depressing! And the chairs are too darn small!

No, I meant--well, okay, too small chairs suck, you'd think they'd get on that if they're getting regulars like Bowser, Jesus. But I meant more like...you get to hang with all these other famous dudes who have some of the same problems you do, right? That's pretty cool.

Well I don't exactly hang out with anybody...I mean. I didn't! Now I do. I have more friends than I know what to do with and it's actually a little overwhelming.

I didn't mean to say that.

Story of my life, man. I mean, the not meaning to say shit. Actually, I guess maybe the other thing, too. Fuck. That sounded less sad before I said it with my mouth.

I think this is gonna be one of those days.

Yeaaahhh, seems to be going around. Good luck with, you know. The managing of it and all.

Thanks, kid.

Level 18 [Video / Action for Goldenrod.] AROMATHERAPY FRIDAY

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